Fitzwilliam Darcy’s Private Journal Page 4
There, our conversation was at an end to my great relief, as the other gentlemen wished to repair to the drawing room and join the ladies.
When I entered the drawing room, Lady Grafton’s eyes met mine, and I felt that I could not eschew attending to her. I went up to where she was sat. Luckily, she was surrounded by other ladies and I was with Bingley, which helped not to create any undue impression of forwardness or intimacy.
Soon, the flip-top tables were brought forward from the walls and set up for playing cards. The dexterity of Lady Grafton secured me as her partner in whist and we were confined at the same table for the rest of the evening.
When the time for the breaking up of the party arrived, her ladyship singled me out again and suffered me to understand that, if I ever wished to present myself at her place, she would always be at home to me, which meaning or implication I was not totally at sea how to divine.
Tuesday, the 17th September, 1811
Bingley informed me in high spirits that he had sent word by way of Mr Delford to Mr Morris that he would dispatch some of his servants to Netherfield by the end of the week so that they could prepare for his arrival which he had settled on two days prior to Michaelmas.
“Darcy, you will give me your word, will you not,” he said when he dined with me today, “to be of the party when Caroline, Louisa and Hurst visit Netherfield at the beginning of November to celebrate the grand occasion of my at last establishing myself as master of a manor? Your presence would indeed be even more welcome than my own sisters’! Without you, the occasion will have lost its sparkle. If you deny me that pleasure, Darcy, I will be in the mopes!”
I laughed and said, “Bingley, you are very obliging to say so! Of course I will be most happy to make one of the party. The pleasure will be entirely mine.”
“Good! I promise you we shall have a capital time! Caroline will be absolutely charmed by Netherfield and be delighted to preside at my table as the lady of the house until such time comes as my own lady will someday do the honour of performing that office for me.”
I wondered at the time if Bingley had Miss Amelia Stanhope in mind. But he has not even once mentioned the lady since this business of Netherfield came into his vision, and he is not one to refrain from uttering his beloved’s name on every possible occasion if it is uppermost in his mind. Indelible as he might have declared many a time the lady’s image would be at first, that of Netherfield appears to have thrust it out of his mind. It is always the case with him. He falls out of love as quickly as he falls in love.
Wednesday, the 25th September, 1811
Georgiana has become sixteen today. After breakfast, making sure that she was out of earshot, I bade the head groom walk the mare along from the mews to the front of the house, then, led Georgiana to the front door before wishing her a Happy Birthday. The sight of the splendid mare drew a small cry from her, and her wide eyes soon became filled with joyful tears. She wrapped her arms around my neck, kissed both my cheeks and tripped down the steps, holding my hand in both her hands and dragging me with her. The mare looked at Georgiana, her future mistress, with her trusting, gentle-natured eyes.
“Oh, what a beauty she is!” sighed Georgiana, and stroked the mare’s mane tenderly.
The mare bent her neck as if to offer Georgiana her cheek, which Georgiana soothingly touched first and then nuzzled her own cheek against, murmuring terms of endearment.
“She seems to have taken an immediate liking to you, Georgiana,” said I. “The gentle mare must have recognized a kindred spirit in you. You will have to decide what you are to call her.”
“Oh, this is so unexpected! But I have always thought that no name would be prettier than Bella for a mare, and she certainly deserves to be called so. She is so beautiful.”
“Bella it shall be, then,” said I.
In the afternoon, I took her to Hyde Park, where she enjoyed her first ride on the mare. Though she had long been favouring her pony, she had had some practice with full sized horses before, and it did not take her long to sit comfortably in side saddle and begin a slow canter upon the mare’s back as if they two were of one entity.
Friday, the 27th September, 1811
Having promised me regular correspondence, Bingley departed for Netherfield this day with all anticipation and excitement for a new life as master of a manor in the country.
The easiness of his temper and his eagerness to be pleased with everything and everybody are such that he will, I dare say, find the life in Netherfield all that he has envisioned and be very happy. Whether the same could be said about his sisters, however, is an utterly different matter. It would indeed be a far more arduous business to meet their approval. They are so difficult to please. In truth, I have never known them to utter a heart-felt eulogium about anything or anybody, well, I do not wish to be boastful, but with the exception of my own self. Their attitudes towards me are perpetually fawning. In fact, Miss Bingley is so determined to set her cap at me at every possible opportunity that I am, I own, not to a small degree weary of it. She is Bingley’s sister and I do not wish it to come between us and mar our friendship, so I hold my peace. But otherwise, I would certainly treat her in the same cold manner in which I rebuff other fawning young ladies.
That sets me thinking of Lady Grafton. Nay, if I am honest to myself, I have been thinking about her ladyship and what she said ever since Lady Wyeford’s dinner party.
I love her no more and I am certain that I never shall, but all the same, she has unsettled my mind. Of course, I will not visit her. But I did not in the least like the manner in which her ladyship singled me out. It bodes ill. I know very well what Lady Grafton is. Once she decides on her prey and takes aim to attain that target, there are not many men, I fear, who could escape, whether they like it or not. I trust that I now have integrity enough to resist her temptation, and that I will always conduct myself with all due propriety. Still, I hope that it was only a whim of the moment of her ladyship’s and she will be happy to leave me well alone.
Sunday, the 29th September, 1811
This day, Mrs Annesley commenced her office as Georgiana’s companion. To my great relief and delight, Georgiana appears to have taken a great liking to the lady instantly, and I hope that Mrs Annesley will, on her part, find Georgiana a lovable, diligent charge to deserve her love and care.
I have often observed that, having led a sequestered life, Georgiana has a noted tendency to be reserved, sometimes painfully and even unhealthily withdrawn, which, on occasions, makes people surmise wrongly that she is cold and above her company. But, Mrs Annesley’s wisdom and perspicacity will, I trust, allow the lady to see through it, and help her detect the true charming nature behind Georgiana’s shyness.
I empathize with my sister. I understand how she feels because to some degree I am the same. I am her elder and male, and therefore, naturally possess superior mental and physical strength, so that it may be less perceivable outwardly, but I, too, often find strangers’ presence uncomfortable if not precisely daunting. I would not say that I am dissatisfied with my own disposition, nor do I envy the gift, with which some people are endowed, of being able to recommend themselves to people around them with engaging conversation or pleasantry. Nevertheless, it is a fact that I am not in any manner an eloquent man, and no sooner do I come into strangers’ presence than I feel awkward. As once Bingley opined, my nature is far from gregarious. My inclination is solitary. I find in my own company more solace and comfort than in others’.
Friday, the 4th October, 1811
The first letter arrived from Hertfordshire today. Just as I predicted, Bingley is in excellent spirits and seems utterly enchanted by country manners. His letter read thus.
Dear Darcy,
Here I am at Netherfield! I am having a jolly good time! Having said as much, I own I have not done much as yet, but I am totally persuaded that I shall find Netherfield a heaven on earth!
The weather has indeed been most propitious, favouring my inclination to get acquainted with the place, and following your counsel, I have ridden and walked around the estate a few times, where I found everything under excellent management. When you come, I dare say, you shall find what healthy game there is to be had at Netherfield, and we shall enjoy shooting to the full.
I am thoroughly delighted with what little I have seen so far. I have met a few people, too. I received the first visit from the locals yesterday - one Sir William Lucas. He was an uncommonly agreeable gentleman of a prodigious size, both circumferentially and vertically. I was informed that he had been the Mayor of Meryton once - do you recall the charming town where we stayed when we were here? - through which office, as I understood, he had attained the honour of knighthood.
Sir William led me to believe that these parts abound in amiable, pretty young ladies - what a capital thing for us, Darcy! - and upon his authority, sisters by the name of ‘the Bennets’ are especially reputed to be remarkably handsome. Darcy, I cannot wait to see them!
So, just as I thought. Miss Amelia Stanhope was destined to the same end - she has fallen into oblivion just as all the other fair maidens had done who had once caught his fancy.
By the by, Darcy, I have a great favour to ask of you. As you are aware, I had fairly fixed the time of your arrival and my sisters’ at the start of November. But, Sir William told me that there is to be a fine assembly ball in Meryton on the nineteenth of this month, and, you know what I am, I promised him that I would be at the ball with a large party! So, will you come before that date? Consider it as a desperate entreaty from me! I am well aware that you have no predilection for balls, but you will not let me down, will you? I know I can rely on you. Caroline should have come up to Town from the north to be with Louisa and Hurst by now, and as I have some business to discuss with Mr Delford, I am planning to go up to Town a couple of days before the assembly, so that I will be able to kill two birds with one stone and escort Caroline here to Netherfield in my carriage. So, I will see you then in Town.
An assembly ball in an unfashionable country town teeming with boorish country folk. That is the last thing that I would seek. However, I would not like to disappoint Bingley, and a part of me, I confess, is a little curious what these exalted ‘Bennet’ ladies will prove to be. Well, in any event, I suppose I shall have to oblige Bingley.
Thursday, the 10th October, 1811
I have received the second letter from Bingley. It bears the date only of yesterday. The mail service between London and that part of Hertfordshire must be uncommonly good.
Dear Darcy,
As I promised, I will be a good correspondent, and here is my second letter.
I have received many more visits from gentlemen of these parts. A Mr Long, a Mr Goulding, a Mr Watson, a Mr Robinson and so on.
Upon the fourth, the day after I had dispatched my first letter to you, a Mr Bennet, whom I conjectured to be the father of the renowned ‘Bennet sisters’, paid me a visit. He was a fine-looking, handsome gentleman despite his autumn years, which I thought augured well. There is a great likelihood of his daughters’ being as handsome as they are rumoured to be.
On the seventh, I, in my turn, paid my respects to Mr Bennet at Longbourn, which is the Bennets’ residence. I had hoped that I would be blessed with a glimpse at least of the fair faces of the sisters - indeed, Darcy, I have heard their beauty mentioned so often by so many people that I have absolutely no doubt of its veracity - but alas, I was denied that felicity! I saw only the father.
As to Mr Bennet’s character, I am afraid I found it very difficult to define. He seemed rather a complex character, though very intriguing. He stood in stark contrast to Sir William Lucas, whom I understood to be as simple and transparent as the former to be complicated and indefinable. You can never tell whether Mr Bennet is in jest or in earnest. You may judge yourself. I will give you some example of the conversation we had.
“I understand, sir, there is to be a ball in Meryton very soon,” I said.
“Yes, so I hear, so I hear,” replied he. “What a capital form of entertainment it indeed is, where young gentlemen can fall in love and form attachments to their subsequent great regrets, which would plague their lives forever! But that is the perverse flow of the current of nature, and it is useless to try to swim against it.”
I did not know what the purport of it was nor did I know how to answer, so I took an easy path.
“Are you blessed with sons and daughters, sir?”
“I have no son, which has irked and will continue to irk Mrs Bennet more than anything, which fact gives me great satisfaction and delight above all else. As for daughters, I have no fewer than five, all of whom, I dare say, are uncommonly silly. Nay, I should not call Jane silly, for she is the sweetest tempered girl in the kingdom, nor should I call Lizzy silly, because she has wit enough for the other four put together and more. When it comes to Mary, well, ‘silly’ is not so much the word for her as ‘ridiculous’. But the other two, my two youngest, I can vouch with pride, are really the silliest girls in the kingdom. It is not the fatherly bias or indulgence that make me talk thus. As God is my witness, it is so. They are five fine girls and you are welcome to any of them.”
So, what do you think, Darcy? Is he not intriguing? Well, I suppose that is enough of Mr Bennet for the moment.
By the by, Darcy, I have to be in town by the morning of the twelfth at all costs. Mr Delford desires my presence a few days earlier than I expected. He says that the urgent business could not be delayed any longer. I was hoping that I could remain in Netherfield until the sixteenth or thereabouts, but it cannot be. Thereby, I shall leave for Town on the eleventh, and probably see you on the thirteenth or fourteenth.
Mr Bennet certainly seems a curious personage, though I have reservations about whether or not the way in which he stated his inner thoughts to Bingley, a virtual stranger, was entirely appropriate.
As to the veracity of the hearsay concerning the Bennet sisters’ beauty, I suspect that Bingley, who is used to the most fashionable, sophisticated beauty of the high ton, will find it rather disappointing, but I shall wait and see.
Monday, the 14th October, 1811
Shortly after breakfast this morning, I was perusing today’s paper as is my wont, when Wiseman announced Bingley, who strutted into the library, barely waiting to be announced, and approached me to shake my hand warmly.
“I will not stand on ceremony, Darcy!” he said. “So, how are you!? I shall have to be with Mr Delford again later today. However, having a few hours to spare, I thought I would call on you!”
“Your business with Mr Delford has not yet reached its conclusion, then?”
“I am afraid that it will take a while longer. But as neither Caroline nor Louisa wishes to leave for Netherfield until the seventeenth in any event, it will not be a problem. You know what ladies are like. They require a deuced long time to decide upon what gowns and cloaks are to be taken, what jewels and accessories are to be carried or what shoes and bonnets are to be packed. Instead of leaving that sort of tedious occupation to their maids’ care, they will insist upon involving their meddling selves in it. Why cannot they be like us men and just be content to trust everything to their ladies’ maids as we do to our valets and have done with it?”
“That is a part of their make-up, Bingley,” said I laughing. “They take special delight in things of that nature. Having to chuse what to wear, which for us is nothing but a damned nuisance, is the biggest passion for them.”
“Yes, I for one, if I were allowed to have my own way, would chuse the same apparel for each and every occasion and have done with all the tiresome business!” And he laughed good-humouredly.
“Incidentally, have you had the pleasure of getting acquainted with the Bennet ladies?” I asked.
“Alas, Darcy, you must know!” cried he. “How unfortunate I was! On the tenth, Mrs Bennet sent me a kind invitation to dinner, for which she had fixed the date on the twelfth. On the twelfth, Darcy! As you know, it was imperative that I leave for London on the eleventh. Thus I had no alternative but to decline the honour which was the foremost wish of my heart. How miserable I felt, I wager you cannot imagine!”
“You will meet the ladies at the ball only five days hence. Take consolation in that prospect. By the by, Bingley, I will have to call on Colonel Fitzwilliam upon the seventeenth, who is to be home that day just for a few days’ visit, and I wish to spend half a day with him upon the eighteenth. So do not wait for me, but start without me. I shall leave London on my own sometime in the afternoon of the eighteenth, but I promise you faithfully to be at Netherfield by the evening.”
Thus, we arranged to travel separately, and Bingley left to go to Mr Delford.
Tuesday, the 15th October, 1811
With an express pleading from Georgiana, I took her and Mrs Annesley to Gunter’s in my carriage today. She had heard of the renowned tea shop, no doubt, from Mrs Annesley.
In sultry weather in the summer, they would have sat enjoying the open air in my barouche with the top pulled back in the square, the plane maple trees protecting them from the hot sun.
Today, it being the middle of October and there being a decided chill in the air, I would have expected Georgiana to prefer to sample the ices in the cosy warmth of the shop, but she was firmly intent upon savouring the ices in such a way as she ought, to wit, outside under the trees, even though she was obliged to sit in my covered coach.